


Cupid Called

by planetcleer



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, M/M, like BAD DUMB TERRIBLE pick-up lines that are actually pretty cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2534567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetcleer/pseuds/planetcleer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin uses a cheesy pick-up line on Michael. Michael uses a cheesy pick-up line back. It keeps happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cupid Called

Ultimately, it’s Gavin’s fault. No really, it is.

He’s the one who turns in his chair to face Michael and just staresat him for, like, five minutes one day, doesn’t even say anything, just  _stares_.

And Michael’s in the middle of editing, so he doesn’t look over at first, but then he  _does_ because he’s pretty sure Gavin hasn’t blinked once in the past five minutes and it’s making his own eyes sting.

“ _What_ , Gavin?”

But of course, because Gavin is a fucking  _weirdo_ , he just sorta stares for a big longer. Michael is about to urge him gently (“What the  _hell_  do you want, you stupid British fuck? I’m editing!”) when, very seriously, he goes, “Aren’t you tired, Michael? You’ve been running through my mind all day.”

And then  _everyone_ is laughing, Gavin’s grinning like the cheeky little bastard he is, and Michael rolls his eyes with fake annoyance and finds himself thinking about the incident the rest of the day.

It all boils down to this. Gavin used a cheesy pick-up line on him and, naturally, he has to return the favor.

So he plans.

—-

When Gavin comes in the next day, there’s a little blue sticky note on his monitor.  _I’ll be Burger King and you be McDonalds. I’ll have it my way and you’ll be loving it._

Reading it out loud causes Geoff and Ryan, the only other two in the office at the time, to break out into fits of snorts and giggles. The story is passed around to Jack and Ray when they come in, and they laugh, too, but it doesn’t last much longer than that.

Still, this is when it really begins.

Two days later, Michael comes back from lunch and the background on his one monitor’s been changed. It takes him a minute to realize, because he runs to the break room to get some coffee while his computer turns on, but then it happens as he sits back down at his desk. There’s a badly photoshopped picture of him with fluffy white wings and a halo and Michael knows, he just  _knows_ what’s coming even before he reads the fucking  _Comic Sans_ print across the top:  _Someone better call Heaven, because they’re missing an angel!!!_

Gavin innocently tells him he loves the new background choice, the guys chuckle and roll their eyes, and Michael questions his life choices. The whole story circulates through the people in surrounding offices and now it’s become a  _thing_.

And this is when it starts to escalate.

Michael writes on a sign in Minecraft in the beginning of their next Let’s Play and sticks it outside of Gavin’s house when no one’s looking.  _Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Heard you were looking for me._ (And that’s how the fans find out about the little contest. The shippers eat it up and are probably writing or drawing or singing all about it. Y’know, fangirl shit.)

A few days later, Michael opens the door to his apartment so he can receive a pizza he didn’t order and doesn’t have to pay for. The girl on the other side just shrugs, says he has a really awesome ‘ _friend_ ’, and disappears down the hall. On the inside of the box (the top, of course, because otherwise the pizza would be fucking, like, poisoned), someone literally wrote a message in Sharpie.  _Are you craving pizza? Cuz I’ll gladly give you a pizza this dick_.

He posts a picture on Twitter thanking his boy for remembering that he likes sausages.

Later, Gavin leaves his phone on his desk once when he goes to pee around two in the afternoon and Michael is messing with it the second he walks out the door. At two ten, the alarm goes off and the message that goes along with it reads:  _You from_ _Tennessee_ _? Because you’re the only ten I see._ At two fifteen, it goes off again.  _Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes._ Again at two twenty.  _I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast._ Two twenty five.  _If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction._ And two thirty.  _What’s your sign?_

On Friday, when he goes out to his car to go home, the back seat is fucking  _stuffed_ with _balloons_ , of all goddamn things. It takes him fifteen minutes to sort out the order of them, because Gavin is a dumb fuck and wrote  _one word_ on each balloon and then didn’t even manage to keep them in the right order, but eventually he can read it right.  _What’s a nice boy like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?_

Michael gets Geoff to drag Gavin to the grocery store over the weekend, and then also enlists Griffon’s help with writing in chalk on the driveway.  _If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand_. The two of them enough stars and planets around it to actually fill a galaxy, and the picture Gavin posts on Twitter later on is all over everything within five seconds. Yeah, the fangirls are eating this shit up.

And ‘this shit’ just goes on and on for weeks.

It isn’t until Gavin gives him one of those giant cookie cake things, that has ‘ _If I were a surgeon, I’d give you my heart_ ’ written across it in dark blue icing, that Michael realizes he’s essentially screwed himself over. It makes him think of that fucking RageQuit they did, Surgeon Simulator which is the hardest piece of shit he has  _ever played_ , because Gavin said basically that exact same thing back then. I give you my heart. He was just playing it up for the cameras, being a fucking goof, but still. And now, since Michael’s apparently trapped in some shitty rom com because of fucking  _course_ , it makes him choke up a little.

Sadly, that’s just the tip of the I-have-feelings-for-that-stupid-little-shit iceberg, because the cookie incident starts making him  _think_ , and thinking is  _never_ good. Especially when it comes to cheesy maybe-possibly-definitely-true pick-up lines you’ve been feeding your best friend for the past month and a half.

—-

He wrote on Gavin’s mirror using some of Griffon’s lipstick when he came over for movie night once.  _Did the sun come out_ , it said,  _or did you just smile at me?_

Yeah, it’s just Gavin’s smile.

Another time, when he was feeling particularly cheesy and too lazy for another grand gesture, he bought Gavin’s favorite kind of doughnut and left it on his desk with a note. _Was your dad a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes._

Michael starts noticing that Gavin’s eyes twinkle a whole lot. They sure are pretty, too.

_How does it feel to be the most gorgeous guy in the room?_

Even his  _nose_ is cute, Jesus damn, and it  _shouldn’t_ be because it’s all big and huge and how the fuck does he  _kiss_ anyone with that shit and it’s just fucking  _adorable_ , okay?! Goddamnit.

 _You are the reason men fall in love_.

No.  _No._ He just fucking  _isn’t_ in love with Gavin, it isn’t happening. And he isn’t about to, like, wax lyrical about him either, he doesn’t do that shit. He doesn’t! It doesn’t matter that Gavin’s got a smile bright enough to light up the room or big, expressive eyes that fucking  _shine_  and really soft hair that would feel  _so good_ to run his hands through. It doesn’t matter that he’s so frustratingly  _endearing_ with his stupid clumsiness and his fucking made up words and that  _voice_ , that totally obnoxious accent and how he  _coos_ Michael’s name like it’s some kind of prayer or some shit like that and just  _no_.  _Michael Vincent Jones is not in love with Gavin David Free_.

Except that he is.

—-

The difference between Michael’s life and the piece of shit rom com he was dropped into somewhere down the line is that Michael’s not gonna fuck it up.

He passed the denial stage and has since moved on to acceptance. Just fucking  _accepting_ the fact that Gavin’s a giant dick but he’s the giant dick that Michael happens to be head over heels in love with.

He confesses it to Lindsay one day, because they used to be a thing and now she’s just his best friend. Well, okay, his best friend that’s a chick, because Gavin happens to hold the best guy friend title. (And  _everything_  has to come back to Gavin, doesn’t it?)

But yeah, he tells Lindsay that he’s in love while they’re out getting coffee and _apparently_ , he’s the last fucking one to know.  _Other than Gavin, anyway_ , she assures him, sipping at her latte,  _but that’s just because Gavin’s the most oblivious human being on the planet_.

Then she goes on to tell him that  _he’s_ oblivious, too, because Gavin is  _so obviously_ in love with him that it physically pains her to know that they  _still_ aren’t together.

Michael protests a bit, because he’s in a chick movie so he  _can’t_ believe that the feelings are mutual without putting up at least a little bit of a fight, but then shuts up pretty quick because Lindsay’s gaydar is fucking A and she always just somehow  _knows_ this shit. Besides, like he said, he is  _not_ gonna fuck this up.

Hold on, bitches, because Mogar is going off script.

—-

Halfway through the next week, Gavin walks into the office after a bathroom break and is  _very_ confused. Geoff’s got the camera on off to the side, there are dozens of paper roses scattered across the floor, probably courtesy of Ray, and Ray, Ryan, and Jack are just  _standing_ there, flanking Geoff on whichever side they please. Michael’s in front of Gavin, positioned so the camera can get his profile or something, and suddenly this look of understanding dawns on Gavin’s face.

He probably thinks it’s  _another_  pick-up line, which seems to excite him a little. (By now, it’s been almost two months and somehow the whole joke hasn’t gotten old yet.)

“Hi, Gavin,” Michael grins at him and shoves his hands into his pockets, feeling all nervous and sheepish but still confident that this will work.

“Hi, Michael,” Gavin smiles back, all white teeth and bright eyes and slightly flushed cheeks and  _God_ , okay, it’s cliché but he’s beautiful.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Michael takes a step closer, stops, hesitates, and then continues, “It’s important.”

Gavin looks sort of like he’s starting to get confused again, because this definitely isn’t the usual way they execute their shitty lines, “Okay. I’m all ears, Michael.”

After a quick glance back at the guys, who all flash him reassuring, you’re-doing-great grins, he turns back to Gavin and moves until there’s only about a foot of space between them, “Do you wanna go out with me sometime?”

“Is this a…?” Gavin trails off and makes a face, looking a bit conflicted.

Michael knows what he meant, though.  _Is this a pick-up line?_ “No, Gav. Well… Okay, it sorta is, but it’s a serious one. I actually want to take you on a date. If you’ll let me.”

It’s silent for a few moments, tense and weird and  _what’s he gonna say_? This is the first time since his coffee date with Lindsay that he’s doubted whether or not Gavin would say yes and it  _sucks_.

But then, yeah,  _there_  it is. Gavin’s grinning, slow but real fucking happy, and his eyes are all crinkly around the corners and any other day Michael would crack a joke about crow’s feet and wrinkles and getting old, but today he just returns the grin and tries not to stumble back when suddenly he’s got an armful of  _Gavin_.

There’s a  _lot_ of cheering in the background (Michael’s pretty sure some other people gathered around in the doorway before he popped the question) and there are pictures being taken and the camera is getting all of this, but he doesn’t really give a shit because now they’re  _kissing_. Michael is kissing Gavin and Gavin is kissing Michael and they’re holding onto each other like they’re fucking Jack and Rose, except whoever’s Rose (totally Gavin) is definitely gonna fucking  _scoot over_ , thank you very much.

They break apart after what seems like hours and they’re both just  _laughing_. Gavin buries his face in Michael’s neck, kisses his collarbone, and says something that only Michael can hear.

“Cupid called, Michael. He wants you to give him my heart back.”

"Nah. I think I’ll keep it."


End file.
